
To become content.
I am in a rebuilding phase right now. I feel like every part of my life is ready for something new. I'm starting over. Everything is up for grabs. I don't know where I'll be in six months, but I know it will be VERY different from where I am right now. I want to know what I'm going to be when I grow up. I would like to find myself and make friends with him. If you know anything about this process, write me and give me some pointers. I've never been here before.
I would give anything to be loved the way I want to be loved, but so far I've only found excruciating heartache. Twice I thought I had found it, and twice I've had my heart shredded like so much scrap paper. I'll continue to take the risk, though. I believe the payoff, if I find it, will be worth all the hurt I've ever endured.
I love airplanes, performance cars, music, movies, books, physics, money, intelligence, articulate people, and liberty (not necessarily in that order). I hated adding "money" to that list, but money gives you a kind of freedom, and I hate being shackled by the lack of it. I have spent many hours deeply contemplating my lottery-winner fantasies.
A few years back I was having a REAL problem acting my age, so I gave up. Now I act like me, instead.